I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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