You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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