her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
