so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize