I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
