Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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