please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
