You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
