Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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