No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
porn star boner night. come get it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
