Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
