I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
