And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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