i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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