My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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