I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
