if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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