people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
