i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
