just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just sent this text using only my big toe
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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