Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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