R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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