The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
