the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So much Jack, so little girl.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize