I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Pants are for mortals
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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