Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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