Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
