summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
