Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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