Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
