i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
