is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
