Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
