Pappa wants mamma naked
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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