his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
