you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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