In the future we'll all be gay
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
