Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize