Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
