Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize