the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
