so explain again why im purple
no
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
