She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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