so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The power of my boobs compel you
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
