People with herpes should wear stickers.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
