no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
