It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
