I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
