I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
