it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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