she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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