I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My breasts were aching with rage.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
