Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize