the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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