Porn is love you can see.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I want to be your penis for a week.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
