You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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