Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
