This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
ok first of all what the fuck
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
