My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
