so explain again why im purple
no
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
