how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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