Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
