I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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