I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
