Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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