you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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