Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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