Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
