I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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