I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
