Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize