And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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