I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
