VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
